The Deafening Silence

VoicePlay, Vampires & Shared Pain

April 20, 2014

tony and evanThis week I had the absolute joy of going to watch VoicePlay in Mount Dora. For those not familiar with them they are an entirely acapella group-5 guys. 2 of them worked in the BeetleJuice show with Evan for many years. This was the first time I saw Geoff (Frankenstein) and Tony (Dracula) since Evan passed as they were on tour with the show The Sing Off that they competed in this year.

After the show I spent some time talking with Tony and we shared thoughts and feelings about Evan. And like SO many times since he died Tony expressed his love and just how hard this loss has been on him-then immediately said “It’s nothing compared to what you are going through.” And I stopped him-as I have so many others since March 2 and I say the same thing. Pain is pain and loss is loss. How we feel it is personal to us. This is a man that sat in Evan’s makeup chair day in and day out for many many years! At least 7 (probably more). Evan would open up to those in his chair and they’d talk about all kinds of things over the years.

I met Tony a few months ago at the wrap up party for the old BeetleJuice show. He walked in and I grabbed Evan’s arm and hissed “Ooooooo…..Tony! VoicePlay! Must meet him right MEOW!” Seriously, I’ve met all KINDS of famous people-many are my clients and when Tony walked in I was like a teenager at a Britney Spears concert (back in the 90’s of course!). Evan said “Ok, I’ll introduce you but don’t be weird.” Ha! Me? Weird? Puhlease!!! Cool as a clam.

Tony walked up and Evan started to introduce us and he looked right at me and grinned big, his gorgeous eyes sparkling and said,

“You MUST be Jamie.”

Be still my beating heart! LOL..he knew who I was! I proceeded to act like a complete idiot-I refrained from asking for his autograph (even I have my limits of shame) but I did show him that I had all their songs on my IPhone lol. He must have thought I was a total moron!!

I didn’t think a lot about it after that other than I wanted to see them in concert and Evan promised to take me as soon as they were back from tour.

They are back. And he’s gone.

I got a note from Geoff’s beautiful wife Kathy on Facebook last week telling me they are back and had a show Friday night and would I like to go! OMG I was over the moon excited. I asked Danielle (our new co-host on Cosmic Caffeine and my Metaphysical Mary Poppins) to join me and off we went. I sat in the auditorium as the show started and just smiled so big at the insane talent and humor. As they got to their section on Disney they sang “Circle of Life” so beautifully! I could FEEL Evan there and tears just came. He would have loved it! He DID love it (I keep trying to remind myself he does hear and see and is aware and happy with me).

So where was I? Oh yes. Tony. So as we talked I began to realize something. Evan told Tony in perfect detail how much he loved, respected and appreciated me. THAT is why Tony knew exactly who I was. And Evan told ME all about Tony and his beautiful soul and kind heart and the love and light he radiates. So as we came together we were instantly bonded by the LOVE that Evan had for both of us!! It wasn’t bigger or more powerful in either of us. Tony had year after year, day after day, I only had a year and a 1/2 but I shared his pillow and his deepest moments in that time. Is one bigger or more powerful than the other? NO!!!!!

I’m saying all this because I’ve watched people hurting over the loss of Evan that try to hold it in when they see me because they feel their pain can’t compare to mine. Wrong. Love is love and pain is pain. We all feel both of them profoundly and deeply and THAT is proof that they loved us and we loved them.

So please, at least when it comes to me-share with me what you are feeling. Tell me how much Evan meant to you! Tell me how much this loss has hurt you and changed you because it bonds us! In an impenetrable web of love…in the Circle of Life and it makes my heart feel lighter and just….better.

I miss him. I miss him every single day. Every second of the day. It’s in my heart and my breathing and everything else-but as the days go by one after the other I’m learning to adapt and change this love. Which actually gave me a second blog topic I may actually write today lol…seriously! Has anyone figured out what to do with all this LOVE thats left behind? Cause I’ve got a whole lot.

And Tony? You and me. Lunch. Soon.

This is just the beginning… #EWM333