The Deafening Silence

Because I’m Happy…

April 21, 2014

jamie april facebookIn the days following Evan’s passing he began sending me (and thousands of you) signs that he was around and happy. A lot of great songs he sent really helped me deal with this loss. One of them was “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. Every time it comes on I can see him doing his silly chicken dance. It makes me smile big. And when he sends it there is often another sign with it like 3:33 pm or I’ll pass a billboard and the last 4 digits of the phone number will be 3333. 10 or more times a day he’s sending me beautiful signs that are just undeniably him.

Happy. What IS happy? Currently I have 2 roommates, Danielle & Brenna. They are leaving next Monday on their big adventure around the country, but right now we are all hanging out here. Sandy Tedesco posted an article on my Facebook wall last week that contained an awesome interview with Hypnotherapist & Past Life Regressionist, Delores Cannon. The article was about her most recent book, “The Three Waves Of Volunteers And The New Earth” and I was hooked! At first when you read this book you are swept up in her theories like a wave and you just can’t believe it could possibly be real! But then as you process it, from within your heart you just KNOW what she is saying is true! Not to mention 2 years ago in my own book, “Answers” I say so many of the same things about the future of our planet! As we sat today and read the first 4 chapters I was overwhelmed with a feeling of being homesick for that place where we originated. That place where Evan now is and can see and hear us but of course we are limited in how much we can see and hear him.

She talks a lot about our purpose here and how some came to volunteer to help Earth evolve via love and a higher vibration. That the whole world is changing (that is SO true) and that we are in the most exciting time in Earth’s history! I believe this and have been teaching it for years and years. To see it really happening is just amazing. And to read the works of others saying these same things is very validating.

So as I sat down to write I kept hearing Evan saying “I’m Happy.” Over and over. I thought about the song he’s sending me all the timeĀ and I asked myself if I am happy. Big question. And my answer was yes. I am.

I posted a photo to Facebook this weekend (the one up top). In it I don’t have a big sparkly smile on my face. It’s more serious and reflective. Some saw it and immediately said “You look so sad” I was really surprised at this for when I took the picture I was very peaceful and content. When I look at it I see love. Lots of deep, abiding universal love and a soul that’s unguarded and at one with the universe and the world around her. Is she happy? Yes.

See. Life will throw you curves, arrows and all kinds of pitfalls to deal with. But if you navigate your path willingly and looking for joy and happiness you’ll find it. If you are looking for the sad, painful things you’ll find them as well. Some saw that picture and saw peace and joy. Others saw the same photo and saw pain and sadness. It’s about perception. Sure, every single day I miss him. I think about him every few minutes in so many things I see or hear or talk about.

Just this morning I was at Dr. Mark’s office getting a much needed chiropractic adjustment. Being there is painful and wonderful. Evan knew Dr. Mark for seven years before he introduced me to him. They were like brothers. They care so much about eachother. In many ways Dr. Mark has been my “Evan” since he passed away in the sense of watching out for me and making sure I’m ok. He helped me negotiate my new Jeep purchase in Evan’s place-even insisting that the purchase price be $20,333.00! He said “I wanted to make sure Evan was part of it-as he was meant to be”. That’s pretty special and any time I’m around him or texting with him I feel Evan so strongly and that is a wonderful feeling. At the same time, I never went to his office without Evan. The first time was so hard. I was sad the second I walked in. But at the same time I felt love and happiness coming from Evan.

So when I was there this morning sitting in the awesome massage chair missing Evan a thought came to me-based on the book I mentioned above and some of what it teaches. Evan was in pain here….all the time. Several car accidents had left him hurting both in joints, muscles and nerve damage. He ached when he got up and ached when we went to bed. At Dr. Mark’s office he found some relief. As I sat there this morning “Happy” came on the office radio and I smiled. Evan was letting me know he was no longer in pain and incredibly happy. This in turn made me feel so much better about him being gone. I’m going to miss him until it’s my turn to go home. I keep telling him that next time I get to go first. But I don’t believe there will be a next time. I believe, like so many others that this is our final turn on this planet the way it currently is and that a beautiful time of shifting and changeĀ is in motion that will leave us with love and peace, that will remove the veil between our 2 worlds and we will be able to talk with and be with those that we love that are on the Other Side-like Evan.

In the meantime, we’ve got work to do-as he constantly reminds me. We are here to love one another and to raise the vibration of the people on this planet exponentially. How do we do that? By being happy.

So today I choose Happy. Happy. Happy. Life won’t be perfect and I’m going to have days where I want to stay in bed and hide-but my promise to myself and Evan is that I will try to return to being and feeling happy as soon as possible. I know now that by doing this I’m helping every single living creature on this planet to begin to do the same thing. So, let’s get happy!

This is just the beginning….#EWM333