When I was a kid I hated rainy days. Well most of the time, unless they got me out of something like yard work. As an adult rainy days usually bring a feeling of calm and yet a bit of sadness. Not sure why. Today it’s raining and I feel very calm and a little sad. Evan is on my mind a lot today. Not sure why on that either. But like I’ve learned since Evan passed, I just go with it. And what I’ve found is that when I just allow whatever I’m feeling, instead of the crushing sadness I’m expecting I actually find a sense of being closer to him. It’s like the grief and sadness, the missing him draws his memory and his essence to me in a bigger way. So many are afraid to just FEEL to allow their emotions out so they bury them But like rain, when you just give in and let it wash over you it cleanses you and then the sun comes out and there is this beautiful new world sparkling with promise. You remember the rain but the sun quickly dries the water and everything is fresh and clean. Grief is so much like that! We have emotions because we are meant to feel them! Yeah…it’s painful but as you allow them you’ll also find they begin to lessen and change the intensity of it. I’m learning not to run from pain but to face it head on, feet planted and ready for whatever it’s bringing me.
Last night’s moon was pretty amazing. April 15, 2014-full moon was in Libra and it was the first of two lunar eclipses in this month! It was a blood moon. The cool part was the eclipse was fully engaged at 3:33am. SO amazing. My buddy Dr. Mark took the amazing picture I posted with this blog. WOW. There is SUCH a shift in energy right now on our planet and so many are “waking up”. It’s beautiful to witness. If you are noticing a feeling of higher energy, unexplained anxiety and weird feelings in general, just go with it. Like the rain it’s here for a reason. Trust me…it’s about to get interesting up in here. Evan is doing all kinds of things all over the world, helping and guiding. I miss him every minute of every day. But I know there’s a reason and a purpose to all of this.
This is just the beginning… #EWM333
Jamie
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